The Multifarious Hats of an Island Girl

Move to a rock and you’ll suddenly find yourself doing all sorts of things you would never have pictured yourself doing before. You squash cockroaches (the small ones, at least) with your bare hands; you pop a cold beer at 9:30 am and call it breakfast; you run out of water (something you once never fathomed could even happen) and learn how to prime what will be your first in a long line of pumps.

We here at Women Who Live on Rocks got to thinking about all of the funny, ridiculous, and often unbelievable roles we have all found ourselves performing, at one time or another, during our island life and decided to compile a list.

many hats

Here’s our collection of some of the island “hats” we rock-women wear, in no particular order…

Inadvertent Sand Collector

Loyal Kmart Shopper

Expert Identifier of Common Tourist Species

Displaced Goat Rescue Squad

Unpaid Tour Guide

Shrewd Scavenger Hunter of Grocery Stores

Indentured Hermit

Dangerously Under-qualified Amateur Mechanic

Mass Murderer of Mosquitoes


Billionaire’s Bestie

(Sun)Burn Victim’s Unit

Importing Logistics Expert

Machete Wielder

Complaint Department Desk Clerk

Island Legend Carrier-On-er

Jane of All Trades

English Language Dialect Translator (West Indian, American, and British)

Involuntary Camerawoman for Hire

Adept Waiting-in-Line-Time Multi-Tasker

Incomprehensible Directions Giver

Feral Animal Feeder

Rally Car Driver with a Masters in Reversing

Dater of Douchebags

Functioning Alcoholic

PADI Certified Babysitter

Reluctant Life Coach

Optimist Against All Odds

Mosquito Decoy –> Dengue Decoy

Unwitting Island Ambassador

Sadistic Exterminator of All Things Creepy-Crawly

Duct Tape Solutions Specialist

Compulsory Creative Cook

Fearless Protector of Reefs

Corrector of Published Island Inaccuracies

Online Shopper Extraordinaire

Ingenius Inventor of Parking Spaces

Lizard Whisperer

Defensive Paddleboarder

Professional Pump Primer

Self Bikini Waxer out of Pure Necessity

Defier of Logic

Ziplock Bag Evangelist

Indisposed Taxi Driver

Wayward Seagull Savior

island hat

Dilettante Detective

Beer Drinking Aficionado

Teeth-Sucking Trash Collector

Handy-Woman Under Extreme Duress

Stray Crab Herder

Conspiracy Theorist

Unofficial Observer of Eccentric Happenings

Hitchhiking Guru

Which hats have you donned in your island days?

Be sure to include any we missed in the comments below!

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This entry was posted in Chrissann Nickel's posts, General, Island List-icles, Lessons Learned, Lifestyle, Random Funnies, Reflections by Chrissann Nickel. Bookmark the permalink.
Chrissann Nickel

About Chrissann Nickel

Chrissann’s home rock in the British Virgin Islands, against all logic, feels bigger to her than it actually is. Though after spending five years on a teensy one acre island, the current 13-mile long rock she’s residing on now IS ginormous, at least by comparison. As with everything in the Caribbean, it’s all about perspective.

Once upon a time she used to care about things like matching her purse to her pumps, but these days, she’s a card-carrying member of the Barefoot Nation. She is utterly enchanted with vinyasa yoga, especially when practiced on somewhat precarious, deliciously Instagram-able surfaces (she's @WomanOnARock) such as paddleboards, boats, cliffs, or even the occasional willing friend’s body. She vehemently believes that toucans are the best animals ever (period.) and there is no convincing her otherwise (though imperious roadside goats come in as a close second).

As the Editor in Chief of this site, she spends a lot of her time working from home all by her lonesome writing, editing, and cultivating content designed to make her fellow islanders laugh. Besides her writerly pursuits, she moonlights as a yoga instructor, and attributes at least a smidge of her insanity to the amount of time she spends talking to drunk people. If you’re somehow still reading this and feel inclined to find out more about this “Chrissann” of which we speak, you can also take a gander at her eponymous personal website,

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24 thoughts on “The Multifarious Hats of an Island Girl

  1. Well I have three more although I’m uncertain of the titles. First one is the rehabilitator of castaway furniture. I’ve now developed a reputation of someone who can turn trash to treasure. The second one is music critic of all the amateur musicians on my rock. I can direct anyone to the best music on my rock. And finally, (my actual job) having gone from banker to fashion designer (Island Contessa), I have become a personal dresser for all my friends!

  2. Car mechanic…… I have learned almost all parts of my car by name over the last 5 years. With the bumpy and puttpeld roads or even lack off roads my car is often in need of tlc… I have learned how to change my tires and battery in a blink of an eye and even know how to check most things under the hood…that never used to be in my regular jobdiscription

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