Written by: Chrissann
After collaborating with my fellow Women Who Live on Rocks, we decided to compile a wish list of our own for Mr. Claus. But because we are adults and because most of us are likely on the Naughty List and because we are almost certain Santa does not exist (right??), we are fully aware most of these wishes are a long shot, at best. But a girl can dream, right?
Here’s what the women on their various rocks are pining for this holiday season:
An Island Woman’s Christmas Wish List
- “A car that doesn’t make mysterious (and soon-to-be expensive) noises. And a working car radio. Ooooh – and cup holders!”
- “The banishment of all things creepy-crawly within a 100ft radius of my apartment.”
- “A RIB (rigid inflatable boat). Water, water everywhere and no way to get across it.”
- “Somewhere to buy decent flip flops for under $45. (I mean seriously, they’re flip flops.)”
- “Properly paved roads. The killer potholes are trying to eat my car.”
- “A Trader Joe’s on the island. (A reoccurring dream of mine each night, which inevitably leaves me crushed each morning when I wake and realize it was a figment of my imagination.)”
- “Brakes that last longer than 6 months.”
- “The ability to buy all the groceries on my list in ONE store.”
- “A big gate, with a lock, to go across the drive in an attempt to at least limit the number of randoms who show up at my door unannounced. Such as the mango thief, or the people from the government office who wanted to take photos of the house – on a Sunday (unlikely story), or one of the many gardeners that we appear to have (my current count stands at 5), or the dude who just appeared at the window one day – whilst I was changing – apparently to “check on the water hose and see if it’s working”?! So, yeah. Either a gate or a shotgun and a crazy wig to wear whilst I brandish it.”
- “A Christmas Day and/or New Year’s Day off. Just one day where I won’t have to answer, ‘Hey, can I book a dive to spend midnight of New Year’s Eve underwater? Won’t that be cool?!’ “
- “Hair ties that last longer than 3 days.”
- “Toilet paper to go on sale!”
- “A mold-free biosphere to store my clothes and shoes in to prevent their rapid decline before I can even wear them.”
- “Ladies razor blades. I am not a man – please stop forcing me to use men’s Gillette.”
- “The ability to buy shampoo and conditioner that isn’t Suave. And that doesn’t cost me a month’s rent!”
- “A LUFFA!!”
- “A Benefit Brow Bar. I’m starting to look like a Sesame Street character.”
The list could go on and on. Though as much as we’d love to have all of the above, we do realize deeply that it is still a worthy sacrifice for the rest of what rock life has to offer. Please forgive us if we get carried away sometimes with the desire to have our cake and eat it too. We’ll stick with the rum for now.
Wishing you a happy holiday!!