Happy Hour Starts at 1pm

I’ve earned it,

Don’t you judge.

I’m sippin’ juice, and

Flippin’ cares,

Tryin’ not to stare

at all the gnats I’m swatting

from my face,

Lord, such a disgrace!

Mango season’s rotting on my porch

I’m cooking meals over a torch

The flame a game of gas and pressure.

I’m fancy on this rock of mine

Boiling all my water,

Begging for the breeze to dry my sweat,

Not make me hotter.

It takes me 20 minutes

just to drive

a freakin’ mile.

If I burn the food

I’m kind of screwed

Because there is not one drive-thru

I guess it’s rice and beans again.

Maybe Baby’s fishing in the sea,

A woodworker, chef, or retiree,

Or studying for that med degree?

Looking for a 1,000 ways

to pass the time

My days a maze of sunshine

Melting makeup down my face.

I’m just a Desperate Rock-Wife

Counting all my simple blessings,

Like boiling pasta weevil free

and A/C while I’m dressing.

I pray to God my clothes don’t get

all moldy in my closet.

Hurricanes and rains

mean lots of water

in the faucet!

I’m just a Desperate Rock-Wife

Pining for a shopping spree,

A tiny store is all I’ve got for

retail therapy.

The seasons here all look the same

Or is that Island Fever?

Holiday is coming soon,

Hairstyles, nails, and macarons,

Bathing in a tub till noon,

This Desperate Rock-Wife!

Written By:

Kelsi Folsom

Current Rock of Residence:

Saba, Dutch Caribbean

Island Girl Since:

June 2015

Originally Hails From:

San Antonio, Texas, USA

Kelsi Folsom was born singing, much to the chagrin of her parents. After indulging in everything from jazz to rap to 80s power ballads, she took her set of lungs to Anderson University to get “properly” trained. She has spent the majority of her operatic career cross-dressing, as most mezzo-sopranos do. She unexpectedly fell in love with a Maui boy shortly after graduation and temporarily traded in her audition heels for marriage and motherhood. Although the latter has made pursuing music a bit more difficult, she seizes whatever opportunities come her way like traveling to Guatemala six months pregnant with her daughter to do lead vocals with the Metro Big Band Jazz Orchestra, singing at church, and recording her first and only single a month before delivering said daughter. Her most recent performance was with Maui Onstage in their 2016 production of Guys and Dolls on her former rock of residence, Maui, HI, once again cross-dressing as a Crapshooter. Little did she know, the reason she felt like throwing up before each performance was because she was dancing around the stage pregnant with twins. 

Now a mom to three: a 2-year old daughter and 9 month old “miracle” twin boys, Kelsi currently makes her home on Saba, Dutch Caribbean where her husband attends medical school. She loves being an Island Mama, but could do without all the bugs/insects, and could do with a few more beaches on her particular rock. When she is not putting on her best “Cherubino” while changing dirty diapers, you can find her picking mangoes, *gasp* reading, making donuts with a toddler, swimming in the ocean, creating her own mixed drinks, enjoying a nap, or trying to make sense of her life over french press. She blogs at Shameless Beauty and her writing has been featured on Red Tent Living. She is still trying to get the hang of nomadic nesting, but is loving all the adventures that come alongside globetrotting with an ever expanding family. She is wondering at the odds of starting an opera company on Saba or at the very least, a club. Or maybe she will form an opera-calypso fusion band…

Here’s to dreaming big, island hopping, laughing a lot, and discovering all the beauty wrapped up in the world.

Want to read more posts by this writer? Click here.

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