Welcome to the Islands

Can we offer you a cocktail?

Welcome Cocktail

Before we begin, that’s one thing we should probably make clear from the get-go: we are significantly funnier if you are imbibing in some sort of an adult beverage. Raucously funnier, even, if you’re on your third. The fact of the matter is that here in the islands, we don’t really do coffee. It’s just too hot.  Besides, that extra amped energy burst from the java juice monster actually makes it monumentally more difficult to cultivate the patience required for an island lifestyle that has the tendency to move at the speed of a hermit crab. Or seemingly not at all.

Here, rather, we meet for happy hour – which admittedly, has a tendency to too often commence before noon, but… you catch the drift. Please understand that we don’t intend all this cocktail talk to come across in an alcoholic sort of way; it’s more indicative of our way of life – anthropologists will one day look upon island societal remains and attribute Heineken as being one of the official sponsors of our evolution. The fact of the matter is that we simply handle our liquor better than most people handle their caffeine. But, we digress. About this blog.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to actually

live  on a tropical island?

Most of us have allowed that daydream to pull on the kite strings of our minds whilst on holiday at some point in our lives. You find yourself glamorously soaking up the sunshine in your idyllic hammock du jour, gazing out from beneath your over-sized shades upon the turquoise sea and there it is – with a definitive exhale, you think, Yeessss, I could do this forever.  It is this stream of consciousness that compels tourists to marvel upon us on an almost daily basis, HOW do you LIVE here?  They want the full story – the inside track, some magical formula that will get them from their comparably drearier existence onto the Path to Paradise. But, as women who have actually seen that fantasy all the way through, we’re here to confess:

It’s not all sunshine and umbrella drinks.

At least not all the time.

Island Life Saver

For this is the essential paradox of paradise. It is freakishly beautiful here, but these postcard-perfect views don’t come for free. It is also freakishly frustrating to live on an island at times. So much so that you will find yourself actually proclaiming phrases you once thought improbable such as  screw the beach!  and  just give me some rain, dammit!  in a fit of fury. Perhaps it’s all a part of nature’s delicate balance – if island living didn’t sometimes beat the shit out of you, everyone would live here. And there simply isn’t room for everyone.

So we’re here to give it to you straight up, on the rocks. It may not always be pretty. It may not always be convenient (for us at least), but by God, it will be entertaining. For you. The person living in the Land of Convenience who does not have to wait in line for 3 hours in the sweltering heat only to be told to come back on Thursday because what you need is not available on Wednesdays, only to come back on Thursday, wait in line for 3 more hours, only to be told that the only person authorized to give you what you need will not be back until next Thursday. Seriously, laugh it up.

If we do not celebrate the absurd, we will not survive. At least that’s what we’re hoping. Thanks for joining us, please feel free to LOL unabashedly at our expense.

Cheers!

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143 thoughts on “Welcome to the Islands

  1. I just joined the group after reading a few of your blogs. You have it nailed but I think I could “one up” you on island living – which is really a step down! HA.

    I’ve lived on Guanaja (where is that you say?), off the coast of Honduras in the Bay Island group. Have lived here since 1997 developing a tough skin, an acceptance of things you cannot change and having a laugh as the British would say!

    I wrote a blog for over 7 years (Featherridge.blogspot.com) and finally came to the conclusion that I was not repeating myself. So, laid back and took the island way out – mañana and now I post whenever I have free time, am board, drank too much or, hey, here’s a novel idea – when I want to let people know what is going on here!

    Love your blog – best wishes and keep the cocktail hour going!

  2. We are looking to move to Roatan and buy or start a business. Are there business for sale and how hard is it to start our own business. . We are front the UK. . THANKS IN ANTICIPATION.

    TONY.

    • Be careful. I lived on Roatan and watched businesses come and g, people investing their life savings and moving away with nothing. There is the occasional success but that is the minority! Also, there are crooks and imposters galore so don’t trust anyone! It’s a beautiful place but don’t do what I did. RENT before you buy anything house wise. I bought and could have rented care free for 10 years and come out on top
      Good luck to you.

    • Be careful. I lived on Roatan and watched businesses come and g, people investing their life savings and moving away with nothing. There is the occasional success but that is the minority! Also, there are crooks and imposters galore so don’t trust anyone! It’s a beautiful place but don’t do what I did. RENT before you buy anything house wise. I bought and could have rented care free for 10 years and come out on top
      Good luck to you.

  3. Thank you for your reply . I will take on board what you say.. we are planning to spend two weeks there next April to look around…. It seems very good value property wise. Very cheap…. is it easy to sell your property on Roatan?

  4. Absolutely love your blog. I am a double rock woman I guess you may say, born and raised in Jamaica until I was 18, lived on the mainland NY, FL, PA and GA. Now here I am 9 years later in ST THOMAS. Today was my first official day as a resident and your blog gave me comfort, thanks!!!

  5. Read one blog I identified with so completely. I’ve lived on islands/rocks – Nassau, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Moorea, Guadaloupe, but I’ve also lived on a real rock – a cay in the Exuma chain in the Bahamas – two of us, a few small rocks, no water, no power other then generator – curly tails and gullies were our pets. I can relate! And as big of a mental, emotional, physical change that was for this city girl, I learned to love it, be possessive of it, hate to leave it yet … Yes! I now dream of going back and being alone on that cay where I learned I could survive anything!

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