Move to a rock and you’ll suddenly find yourself doing all sorts of things you would never have pictured yourself doing before. You squash cockroaches (the small ones, at least) with your bare hands; you pop a cold beer at 9:30 am and call it breakfast; you run out of water (something you once never fathomed could even happen) and learn how to prime what will be your first in a long line of pumps.
We here at Women Who Live on Rocks got to thinking about all of the funny, ridiculous, and often unbelievable roles we have all found ourselves performing, at one time or another, during our island life and decided to compile a list.
Here’s our collection of some of the island “hats” we rock-women wear, in no particular order…
Inadvertent Sand Collector
Loyal Kmart Shopper
Expert Identifier of Common Tourist Species
Displaced Goat Rescue Squad
Unpaid Tour Guide
Shrewd Scavenger Hunter of Grocery Stores
Dangerously Under-qualified Amateur Mechanic
Mass Murderer of Mosquitoes
Psychiatrist/Bartender
(Sun)Burn Victim’s Unit
Machete Wielder
Complaint Department Desk Clerk
Island Legend Carrier-On-er
English Language Dialect Translator (West Indian, American, and British)
Involuntary Camerawoman for Hire
Adept Waiting-in-Line-Time Multi-Tasker
Incomprehensible Directions Giver
Feral Animal Feeder
Rally Car Driver with a Masters in Reversing
Functioning Alcoholic
Reluctant Life Coach
Mosquito Decoy –> Dengue Decoy
Unwitting Island Ambassador
Sadistic Exterminator of All Things Creepy-Crawly
Duct Tape Solutions Specialist
Compulsory Creative Cook
Fearless Protector of Reefs
Corrector of Published Island Inaccuracies
Online Shopper Extraordinaire
Ingenius Inventor of Parking Spaces
Lizard Whisperer
Professional Pump Primer
Self Bikini Waxer out of Pure Necessity
Defier of Logic
Ziplock Bag Evangelist
Indisposed Taxi Driver
Wayward Seagull Savior
Beer Drinking Aficionado
Teeth-Sucking Trash Collector
Handy-Woman Under Extreme Duress
Stray Crab Herder
Unofficial Observer of Eccentric Happenings
Hitchhiking Guru
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Which hats have you donned in your island days?
Be sure to include any we missed in the comments below!
Current Rock of Residence:
Virgin Gorda, BVI
Island Girl Since:
2006
Originally Hails From:
California
Chrissann’s home rock in the British Virgin Islands feels bigger to her than it actually is. Though after spending five years on a teensy one acre island, the current 13-mile long rock she’s residing on now IS ginormous, at least by comparison. As with everything in the tropics, it’s all about perspective.
Once upon a time she used to care about things like matching her purse to her pumps but these days, any activities that require a bra and shoes go under careful, is-this-even-worth-it consideration. If island life has taught her anything at all, it’s that few things are more rewarding than time spent in the pool with a cocktail in hand.
As the Editor in Chief of this site, she spends her days working from home with her blue-eyed sidekick, Island Dog Diego, writing, editing, and cultivating content in the hopes of bringing some laughter and lightness to her fellow island souls. She recently published her first children’s book, When You’re a Baby Who Lives on a Rock, and is pretty pumped to share it with all of the island mamas out there. Her days off are typically spent boating, hiking, and meeting up with the neighborhood’s imperious roadside goats, who she shamelessly bribes into friendship. While normalcy was never listed as one of her special skills, Caribbean life may indeed be responsible for new levels of madness. She attributes at least a smidge of her insanity to the amount of time she spends talking to drunk people.
If you’re somehow still reading this and feel inclined to find out more about this “Chrissann” of which we speak, you can also take a gander at her eponymous website or follow her daily escapades on Instagram @womanonarock.
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