Welcome to the Islands

Can we offer you a cocktail?

Welcome Cocktail

Before we begin, that’s one thing we should probably make clear from the get-go: we are significantly funnier if you are imbibing in some sort of an adult beverage. Raucously funnier, even, if you’re on your third. The fact of the matter is that here in the islands, we don’t really do coffee. It’s just too hot.  Besides, that extra amped energy burst from the java juice monster actually makes it monumentally more difficult to cultivate the patience required for an island lifestyle that has the tendency to move at the speed of a hermit crab. Or seemingly not at all.

Here, rather, we meet for happy hour – which admittedly, has a tendency to too often commence before noon, but… you catch the drift. Please understand that we don’t intend all this cocktail talk to come across in an alcoholic sort of way; it’s more indicative of our way of life – anthropologists will one day look upon island societal remains and attribute Heineken as being one of the official sponsors of our evolution. The fact of the matter is that we simply handle our liquor better than most people handle their caffeine. But, we digress. About this blog.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to actually

live  on a tropical island?

Most of us have allowed that daydream to pull on the kite strings of our minds whilst on holiday at some point in our lives. You find yourself glamorously soaking up the sunshine in your idyllic hammock du jour, gazing out from beneath your over-sized shades upon the turquoise sea and there it is – with a definitive exhale, you think, Yeessss, I could do this forever.  It is this stream of consciousness that compels tourists to marvel upon us on an almost daily basis, HOW do you LIVE here?  They want the full story – the inside track, some magical formula that will get them from their comparably drearier existence onto the Path to Paradise. But, as women who have actually seen that fantasy all the way through, we’re here to confess:

It’s not all sunshine and umbrella drinks.

At least not all the time.

Island Life Saver

For this is the essential paradox of paradise. It is freakishly beautiful here, but these postcard-perfect views don’t come for free. It is also freakishly frustrating to live on an island at times. So much so that you will find yourself actually proclaiming phrases you once thought improbable such as  screw the beach!  and  just give me some rain, dammit!  in a fit of fury. Perhaps it’s all a part of nature’s delicate balance – if island living didn’t sometimes beat the shit out of you, everyone would live here. And there simply isn’t room for everyone.

So we’re here to give it to you straight up, on the rocks. It may not always be pretty. It may not always be convenient (for us at least), but by God, it will be entertaining. For you. The person living in the Land of Convenience who does not have to wait in line for 3 hours in the sweltering heat only to be told to come back on Thursday because what you need is not available on Wednesdays, only to come back on Thursday, wait in line for 3 more hours, only to be told that the only person authorized to give you what you need will not be back until next Thursday. Seriously, laugh it up.

If we do not celebrate the absurd, we will not survive. At least that’s what we’re hoping. Thanks for joining us, please feel free to LOL unabashedly at our expense.

Cheers!

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171 thoughts on “Welcome to the Islands

  1. Good Morning from ~

    An Old Broad
    From abroad
    On a hill
    In Negril ~

    What FUN to stumble upon this group! I too had always wanted to end up living in the tropics. I first stepped foot on Jamaica in 1979, this Island captured my soul!

    Spent several years working toward and planning for this time in my life …. making it a reality.

    I was able to complete my application for residency in only two months. Now, within the next few weeks, I will be orchestrating the shipment of the last of my personal and household things. Yaaa Hooo ~

    It will be a pleasure to be a part of this eclectic group and read others adventures ~

    Enjoy!
    Laurel, Originally from the Minneapolis area in Minnesota

    • Love the limerick, Laurel! Congrats on your upcoming move, I’m so glad you found us. Once you get settled into your rock, let me know if you want to join in and share you stories as a contributor. Happy to e-meet you, all the best to you island girl! Chrissann

    • Congrats, Laurel on your upcoming transition to island life! I moved from the Minneapolis area to the US Virgin islands just over 6 years ago. So far, I have zero plans to return. Welcome to the Caribbean and to Women Who Live on Rocks! We have a lot of fun conversation and activity on our Facebook page too. Would love to see you there too.

  2. Good morning peeps!
    I know I am going to love reading this blog. Can’t wait to have the time to read every word. It’s a tad early for a cocktail though, so I will be back later.

    Make a great day!

  3. Hi there! I am getting ready for my first island move to the Turks and Caicos….now for my first test of island patience…..waiting for my work permit! Going to read every inch of this blog for advice in the meantime!

    Carrie

    • You will love Turks. Make sure to check out Potcake Place, a great rescue organization. Expats and locals support it, all are fun people. Great way to get involved on the island….and get a pet too!

    • Good luck with the move Carrie 🙂 If you need any advice, I live in Turks and Caicos . looking forward to having on our little rock 🙂 x

  4. Hey ladies,

    Great to see this blog! To anyone out there thinking about moving to the Virgin Islands: I moved from the continental US to St. Thomas 15 years ago and started doing boat charters shortly thereafter. The weather here is pleasant, people are nice, and there is a “relaxed” sense of time!

    If you’ve never visited the Virgin Islands and you’re happy with where you live now, I recommend that you never visit. Otherwise, you’ll never want to go back home!

    Captain Nate
    http://www.natescustomcharters.com

    • Hey! I lived there and on St John for awhile. I am a dive instructor and pastry chef ..did all there. Glad to see you have made it happen.

  5. beautiful writing! also funny. also true.but not everyone can be humorous in a way that makes a reader think,”This person should write a book and win a prize”.

  6. I lived on St. Maarten (My rock of choice) for 8 years… I am now a Floridian gal but really enjoy reading your posts. I do go back now and again (My Best Friends -including my ex husband are on Island). and I had moved to the Island sight unseen along with two grade school children. I can say in hindsight that it was a fabulous experience for our family but the kids did not see it that way! It was only when they were writing their college admission essays did they look back and see what an awesome experience they had (some of the American kids in Florida had never even left the state, let alone become world travelers by the age of 25)! Keep on posting and one of the cool things I did as a Mom on Island was I got to be the parent who went with the kids on “outings”.. Two of the outings was on the 12 Meters Sail boats in (Great Bay) a race b/w the boys and the girls (I sat and gave out drinks from the cooler while they did all the work). Other trips were to Pinell Island and Tintamere for mud baths. In 8 years the experiences rack up in my mind and I started my week at my friends house on Sat night at the weekly meditation and afterwards food was brought by all the various people from different countries and we ended the meditation with a prayer to keep the Island safe from Hurricanes:-)

  7. What a great site! I’m looking forward to reading others rock living experiences. I just moved to my rock with my hubby. Our rock of choice is in Bocas del Toro Panama.
    I feel like the past 34 years of marriage with 18 moves under my belt (all within the US) has prepared me somewhat for this move. Not without its challenges and inconveniences, it is by far the best move ever. It’s been a whole 3 weeks now, but I keep pinching myself reminding me this is real.
    Cheers!

  8. Hi all

    I am a British woman who has lived in the UAE for the last 6 years working in abu Dhabi now currently living in Ras al Khaimah the northern Emirate, a little Island like! I work ina nd out of Iraq month on and off returning to Ras al Khiamah to be with my rescue dogs (2). I want out of it all and a Rock is my choice, following your comments avidly and will book a short trip on one of my months off this years to make sure. Look forward to chatting and hearing any advice for a single 46 year old dog lover who wants to relocate ; )

    • Nice! Congrats, Tanya! I’d suggest checking out our “Meet the Women” page, perusing writers by islands you are potentially interested in. You can click on each writer’s name within an island and read posts from that area, which should give you more of an idea of what life on that particular rock is like. Best wishes on your journey to your rock! 🙂

  9. This is fate. I’m about to do the deed and not just go for weekends. What a joy and thrill to have found this blog…I literally typed “I’m about to live on and island and want to blog about it…” I’m hoping this is a good active group, “when I need it, selfishly” because, I guess, I’m gonna be pretty preoccupied with cursing the beach, the sand, the sun and the no-see-ums, but the cars can stay away, the road construction therapy groups, I feel my halo just appearing…Ha! Can’t wait to read every single post and connect, even if it takes 3 hours (I’ll just make another Tequila Sunrise) …I’m with you all, well, after they agree to our offer, hopefully, I’ll be amongst great woman. 🙂

    • I’m so happy fate brought us together, Heather! 🙂 I hope you enjoy what you read and get excited for your island adventure. We are most definitely an active group – be sure to subscribe for our posts via email and follow us over on Facebook – new stuff there everyday too. Cheers, island girl – nice to meet you!

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