One of the biggest benefits of living on a Caribbean island as an “expat” (I put that in quotes because by all technicalities, I am not an actual expatriate considering my island is a US territory and I’m a US citizen) is that you have the opportunity to shamelessly brag to all of your friends on social media that you live in a tropical paradise with views beyond their wildest dreams, complete with more rum than Captain Jack Sparrow could imagine drinking in his lifetime. Sure, you may not actually spend every day on a white sand beach sipping back-to-back umbrella drinks, but let’s just keep that our little secret, shall we?
It is imperative to fill your Facebook and Instagram pages with loads of envy-inducing photos to show off just how amazing your life is… if for no other reason than to remind yourself that your life is, in fact, amazing (most of the time). Let’s face it, the challenges of island living can test your resolve to the rock more often than you’d like – knowing that others covet your life (the sparkliest version of it) can help soften some of the harshest of island blows.
8 Tips for Mastering the Art of the #IslandSelfie
1. Completely eliminate the “bathroom selfie” from your repertoire.
It’s tired. It’s boring. And island bathrooms tend to be even less exciting than their stateside counterparts. You will not be winning any jealousy points here.
2. Just add water.
Yes, lots of people take photos with water visible. Many of your social media friends will attempt to make you jealous with their summer lakehouse selfies. But not to worry – they ain’t got nothin’ on your Caribbean blues. Hit them with some turquoise. There is no body of water that compares to that of the Caribbean Sea (or other equatorial island body of water) – and that is a #fact.
3. Welcome people to your sandbox.
The whiter, the finer, the better. This fundamental piece of the #islandselfie pie informs your devoted internet disciples that you live on or near a beach. Beach proximity substantially boosts the cyberspace jealousy factor. (Bonus points for a bangin’ pedicure.)
4. Beach chairs show off just how relaxed you are.
This one is especially valuable in parading your chilled out Caribbean lifestyle. Real world problems? Zero.
5. Sea life make amazing props.
While some members of your online posse may be able to enjoy a nice day at the beach in the frigid waters of the Great Lakes on Independence Day, they can’t possibly compete with a Caribbean sea star or pearly pink conch shell. What’s that you have there, northern friend? A river stone? How cute.
*Friendly reminder: sea life is alive. Please treat all living beings with respect.*
6. Cloudy days are no-nos, people.
Avoid posting any photos on cloudy days. This levels the playing field too much and destroys the romanticism of island living. Cloudy days don’t showcase the crystal-blue water and on these days, your beach selfie could be tragically mistaken for a one taken at *gasp* Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. You want people to maintain their belief that the sun shines on your paradise 24/7.
7. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere. And you live in Somewhere.
Boozy bevies are most definitely crucial to the #islandselfie because they illustrate that tropical cocktails are as much of a staple in your life as bread sticks are at the Olive Garden. Double the delight with shots of day drinking (weekdays will knock it out of the park) – something that is generally frowned upon in real world societies is game on here.
8. Don’t forget the palm trees!
These babies are the pillars of our island scenery, and they’re fundamental selfie staples because they advertise to your followers that, even if you are not at the beach in that particular moment, you are still in a place that is warm year-round and has an abundant supply of coconuts.
#IslandSelfie bonus points for also including:
exotic flora and/or fauna (ie. selfie w/ an iguana)
and, of course, rainbows
If you aren’t part of the #Selfie Nation, rest assured – the island is gorgeous enough in and of itself to still significantly raise your social media jealousy status, even without you in it:
Word of Warning:
Following this guide will most definitely maximize your social media envy, but beware. It could also result in being unfollowed at a record pace, especially during the winter months. On that note, it is wise to tailor down your postings during the times weather is at its most oppressive up north. In addition, it just about guarantees that those who don’t unfollow you will likely comment with one of our favorite utterances such as:
“You are so lucky to live on an island!”
Correction: Ballsy. Possibly crazy. Adventurous. Not lucky, though. Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it.
“I’m so jealous!”
Perfect! Everything is going to plan… [insert evil snicker here]
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What are some of your favorite #IslandSelfies you’ve taken? Any tips or tricks to add to the list?